As a mother of several small children, I am often engaged in small talk with strangers in places like the grocery store and the like. I hear the phrase, “You have your hands full!” more often than any other phrase in the english language. They are right, of course, I do. Lugging around four kids, two of them as toddlers is not for the faint of heart. I often respond to people when they make that comment, “If only I can get them out of the toddler stage, my life will become so much easier!” Almost immediately, I get the same thing: “Well, yes, until they become teenagers. Then it gets worse.”
This may be true, but sometimes I wonder if people say this only because they remember the teenager years better because they are more fresh in their minds. Or maybe they were so insane during the toddler years, that they have no recollection of it at all. Below is my list on why I think teenagers are easier than toddlers:
2) You get to go to the bathroom all by yourself!
3) No one will interrupt you while taking a shower with a plea for juice.
4) You do not have to fish out a truck, block or rubber thingy before using the bathroom.
5) If you happen to sleep later than the kids, you don’t have to worry about spilled cereal all over the floor, spilled juice all over the counter, the dogs loose around the neighborhood, and the baby walking around with no diaper.
6) You can go to the store by yourself, even if Daddy is at work.
7) The only snot found on your sleeves in the winter-time will be yours.
8) They can take their own temperature, and it will be in a less unfortunate orifice.
10) You only have to tie your own shoes, and you only have to do it once.
11) You don’t have to clean the blood out of your ears after a day full of screaming because they couldn’t tie a truck to the dogs’ tails or jump from the couch to the chair while wielding a play sword.
12) You can carry a purse smaller than a duffle bag.
13) It will take minutes, not hours to get the family into the car.
14) The toothpaste won’t be found squirt into little piles on the bottom of the bath tub.
15) The shampoo won’t be filled with water after the first use. Yes, you still have shampoo, but it will be freezing cold when you go to use it.
17) You have peace and quiet during the day while they are at school.
18) You won’t be singing cartoon theme songs or toy music in your head all day, and actually liking it.
19) You are able to speak in complete sentences and still be understood. Maybe not heard, but definitely understood.
20) You can talk on the phone on the outside of the closet and still hear the person on the other end.
21) If you sit down to take a breath, you don’t find lard smeared all over the dog.
22) You can go into public without fear that they will fall to the ground screaming at the top of their lungs. Teenagers are too cool for that.
23) Potty training will include a sponge and a toilet brush, making your life easier, not messier.
24) You don’t have to mop the floor after every meal. They don’t need tops on their cups, and the cups of their siblings don’t have to be guarded with your life to avoid cleaning its contents up off the floor.
25) Remember, God made toddlers cute for a reason. Teenagers aren’t as cute, so obviously God agrees with me!